I feel like once COVID started the amount of pressures (both external and internal) have been relentless.  I mean it’s not like before COVID everything went hunky dory – I have kept random journals since 2006 and in all of them I essentially rent about how the world is ending and how things are really tough financially and emotionally.  But I think since early 2020 the scale and level of pressure has been global from climate change (and seeing the effects of environmental destruction), to inflation, loss of purchasing power, not being able to afford things I used to, and as I get older health issues.   It also feels like everyone is having the same difficult issues, whereas before when I had a hard time I could rely on others, who may be fairing a little better than me, to pick me up and distract me for a while.  Now I feel like there is no such safety net and that we are all suffering equally, in fact, I might be better off than many others given the political situation in our world today.

I usually took such pressures in stride but lately, I found myself even more overwhelmed than usual, especially financially and being at a point in my life where I am not able to help those around me like my mom, or buy things for my kids that I never thought twice about before.  It’s a depressing state to be in, thinking that you have regressed, or all your hard work is essentially leaving you exactly where you are. It’s not a lack of trying – I have tried at least 10 different opportunities only to be slapped with failure until I can no longer afford financially any more attempts.

I have come to the realization that things will not be as they were, but I do pride myself on being stubborn to put up a fight and not necessarily accept things as they are.  With a focus to claim back my health, finances, and relationships … I took a second, deep breath and started to make a plan.  Although each plan will be different for everyone this one made sense to me – and I am making it general enough to apply to a wider group of people if they choose to go with it.

Taking control of health – the easiest thing I can control is my health and specifically weight.  I know that sounds wrong but with all other issues there are things beyond my control.  This one isn’t.  I need to be disciplined and I need to realize that by now I need to accept I will not look like how I did 10 or even 5 years ago.  I do need to set an example for my kids – and it’s ok to have some derailments along the way (i.e. binge eating pizza and chocolate bars once or twice a month).  But generally speaking the more I change my diet the more I get used to it.  I stopped having soda generally and I found myself craving it less.  I filled it up with distractions (hobbies) and healthier preplanned options like fresh juices and flavoured soda water.  It’s not the same but push through for two weeks and the healthier options start to surprisingly taste better.  In terms of exercise I am not gonna lie a gym will not do it for me.  Nor will hard-core cardio and muscle workouts.  I’m just too lazy.  Instead, I’m ok with 3 days a week of 25 minutes of Yoga work or even just walking.  Once I get used to that I can add more and start taking it more hard-core, but that’s not for month from now.

Finances are the hardest thing for me.  My biggest fear, because of my childhood, is to be financially insecure and having to compromise on things.  So I made a budget figured out how much more money I need to make to maintain my financial situation.  First thing I did is I looked at my monthly bills and expenses and looked for trim downs (i.e. better insurance rate, cell phone plan, TV subscription).  Then after that bare minimum I calculated again how much more money I need to cover my budget gap.  That’s when I started to look at options from side gigs, to investments, to a second part time job.  That’s the only way to do it.  Instead of cutting back, I looked at how I can afford what I’m doing now.  Even if it means seasonal work like Christmas holiday part time jobs, weekend warehouse support, night shift call centre, drop shipping or Amazon product sales….anything.  I have to admit so far I am not successful.  But I have to keep reminding myself that I am too stubborn to give in and that worst case scenario I sell my home and rent out something cheap.  Not ideal but at least I won’t be destitute.  Physiologically that gives me some comfort knowing it’s not the end of the world – although I have to say that there are those days where I still can’t sleep at night thinking about money.

What most people ignore but is equally if not more important is relationships.  Although I am an introvert through and through, keeping relationships, even if it’s the dreaded occasional phone calls do give me a pick me up when I’m at my lowest.  Even though I hate reaching out, eventually once it’s done I do feel a bit of a high.  Not least of which having a sense that I’m not alone out there.  If you are a bit bolder make an effort to have at least a coffee time out with someone once a week.  Although many think of it as a waste of time, it is as important is exercise.  Exercise for the soul.  Not letting the health and financial issues get to your treatment of the little ones is equally important.  It’s hard but pushing your stresses and worries away for 20 minutes to play a game with the kids at least one or twice a week is a must.  It lets you live what little time of your life you have, the problems will still be there whether you stress and worry or if you take a short break to forget about them.  They won’t go away that quickly, but will go away is those precious minutes with the loved ones that you won’t get back if things get better, or worse for that matter.

These are ways I cope with my stresses, but would like to see some comments on other coping mechanisms.  We all need them, and the more the better!